Reasons to go to the Movies .. or Bootleg in 2009

In a previous post I lamented about why Hollywood is a stain on the underpants of the entertainment industry. How they abuse and take advantage of the unknowing public with crappy films about people being sawed in half and just lacking a sense of creativity all together. But I am optimistic today, I am not sure why, maybe it’s my morning Cafe Mocha twittering in my stomach or maybe it’s the fact that I realized with the economy gravely ill,  movie studios are going to have to do their very best in order to steal the doubloons from the pockets of moviegoers across the world!

Example A ~ Wolverine: Origins has  gone back into production for optimal re-shoots, because after final approval executives and possible focus groups thought the film lacked something (maybe a script?.. remember this was written during the writer’s strike). Therefore, the studio went back to the drawing board and apparently put more scenes involving Deadpool and Gambit (FAWESOME!). This makes me feel as happy as a pig rolling around in his own fecal matter.. or someone else’s fecal matter (you know how pigs are!!). I have done some extensive research and came up with a list of films that I am excited for in 2009 .. enjoy!

(in no specific pecking order)

Terminator: Salvation – Who better to resurrect a  franchise than Mr. Batman himself, Christian Bale. He’s proven in the past that he’s capable of adding depth to characters and puts his all into all the characters he plays (The Machinist anyone??). Also, Bale never takes on a script he doesn’t believe in. It’s also hard not to jump on the bandwagon after watching the amazing trailer!! Early reports of the film suggest that it’s not just a straight-forward humans vs. bots war flick.. but there are enough twists and turns to keep you entertained. Most importantly, this isn’t the last we’ll see of Terminator. The artwork behind the robots is to gradually show their evolution from bulky, slow moving war machines to the sleek and tremendously spooky liquid mofo’s we saw back in the Ahhhnold days. But, viewer beware: this film is helmed by McG .aka. Mr. Charlie’s Angels, and no set of latex mammaries could make those flicks watchable. Not to mention that this film also has the rapper/actor Common in it. I have never enjoyed any of his roles in films, but I won’t let him stop me from seeing this one in IMAX!

Watchmen – Where do I begin… Watchmen is the holy grail of graphic novels and it’s inevitable launch in a new art form on the big screen is something fans have been waiting for, for a very long time. It’ll be interesting to see how the writers/directors chose to portray some of the elements from the novel to the big screen. The film has a lot going for it, the actors are not over the top action heroes/heroines and therefore the existence of a major movie star won’t destroy the film. The director is a proven success in Zack Snyder (“300″), I think his stylish and whimsical filming will make this film an over the top success. But, viewer beware: This film has gone through a hellstorm of legal troubles, which may turn some die hard viewers off from Warner Bros. Also, despite my affection for Snyder’s filmmaking, I think this could be a soft spot for the film.. too much of a good thing.. is too much! Finally, some parts of the book are hard to translate onto film and reports have already indicated that the ending has been changed, die-hards may be disappointed.

I Love You, Man – Paul Rudd is a funny bitch and so is Jason Segal. They’ve been in countless films together, but never really had a lot of screen time together. This is an unnatural love story, in that it involves a guy looking for a best friend to become his best man at his wedding. A great story line and a cameo from Adam Sandberg makes this a good flick to catch with a special lady friend.. or maybe that brother from another mother. Viewers beware: the film was directed by John Hamberg who wrote such disastrous movies as Along Came Polly. Let’s hope he’s sharpened his skills since then.

Adventureland – Basically, Superbad redux. One of the writers from Superbad decided to continue his success in teen-awkward-comedies with this pearly flick. What makes this movie look like a lot of fun is the nostalgia most people are going to feel while watching the retro-style-current-day movie about a summer job at an amusement park. Not to mention funny men Ryan Reynolds and Bill Hader are sure to make your stomach hurt from laughter. There a lot of unknowns and up-and-comers in this flick to surely make it worth your while. Viewers beware: The lead actor.. sounds like.. Michael Cera… but isn’t Michael Cera….wtf! .. o yea.. and that chick from Twilight is in it…

Wolverine: Origins – There’s nothing to be said that hasn’t already been said about this flick. Jackman has proven that he IS Wolverine and fans have been waiting for his origins story for quite some time. Not to mention that Liev Schrieber as Sabretooth was probably the best choice of the bunch (does anyone even remember that terrible WWF guy who played him in the first XMEN?… yea I thought so). What makes this movie even more desirable is the inclusion of cult class Marvel heroes/anti-heroes Deadpool and Gambit (I’ve been waiting for a Deadpool film since I was a teeny lil brat). What worries me most about this film is the constant re-shoots and the fact that the film was drafted during the writer’s strike, not to mention that Fox has been known for destroying comic-book adaptations and basically taking them too far into commercial-territory. Since the success of the Dark Knight and its…darkness… more comic-book movies are taking chances in how much storytelling they are willing to adapt to the screen. Let’s hope they’ve kept what makes Wolverine such a bad-ass. His ability to chomp out villains the roughest way imaginable!

Star Trek – Three words: J.J. Abrams. This guy’s pedigree is definitely top-notch, I loved what he did with MI:3 and Cloverfield, and have you heard of a little show called LOST? I am in no way, shape or form a Star Trek fan, but after seeing the newest trailer, I think I am finally sold. This film looks bad ass and has turned me into a believer of the Trek.. no not a Trekkie!!! But it’s nice to see someone adapt an old sci-fi franchise and not have it suck so much (ahem.. Lucas???). My fear is Harold as Lt. Sulu kinda turns me off though.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – Michael Bay is not only a pyromaniac/arsenist but a cliche movie-lovin freak. But by god, the new Transformers film looks better than the first. If you haven’t seen the 30 second Super Bowl spot.. well here it is: Revenge of the Fallen. The film starts exactly where the last one left off and looks like it will include more robots and even more explosions. It’s basically eye-candy in every way. I think it’s safe to expect wooden dialogue and terrible acting from Megan Fox.. but who goes to any of her movies to actually see her act? I think audiences know what to expect when heading to this film and I think it’s going to be the one of the highest grossing films of the year.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince – I have never read a single Harry Potter book, I always thought the movies and books were lame and just couldn’t jump aboard the Potter train.. one might say I am not a “PottHead” hahahaha….. But there’s something about this story that looks so intriguing and dark, heck it’s the story of Voldermort. I can definitely jump on this one like a cougar on an unsuspecting teen at a bar.

The Wolfman – A new imagining of the classic Universal Studios werewolf flick. What makes this so eye-grabbing and face-biting is that Benecio Del Toro looks phenomenal as the weary wolf! I also am intrigued to see how this film plays out because it’s a return to form by Anthony Hopkins (face chomping that is) and it also includes the delicious Emily Blunt (who is rumored for the upcoming Dark Knight sequel). The director, Joe Johnston, is most-known for The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones, The Rocketeer and will also grab the steering wheel for the upcoming Captain America film! I am truly excited to see how he can translate the old to the new (one of the only remakes I am actually looking forward to this year).

Sherlock Holmes – 2008 was the year of Downey Jr. He was everywhere and he was GOOOD. He was IRON MAN and was also, “the dude who played the dude who thinks he’s another dude”.. or something like that. It’s safe to say putting him in control of the iconic slew-dectective was just perfect. Guy Ritchie (Ms. ex-Madonna) is directing this one and I have always been a fan of his mobsterish films. He has a speratic and interesting way of showcasing a storyline. So it’ll be great to see what he can do with this story of Holmes. Not much information is out yet on this flick, but the pictures of Downey as Holmes look fawesome! My biggest regret is the addition of Jude Law as Watson … WATSON! I am afraid Law’s desire to be the pretty-boy on screen may ruin the dynamic of the duo. But we’ll have to wait and see, this looks extremely promising!

Year One – This looks like a comic gem! At the helm is Judd Apatow and Harold Ramis (EGON). The story is about two hunter-gatherers who suck at well.. hunting and gathering. This movie apparently was one that Ramis has been dieing to make in years! I was sold when I heard Jack Black, Michael Cera and David Cross (Tobias!) woul dbe in it… this trailer hits it home for me!

That’ll about do it! Keep your eyes peeled for the 10 films I wish they didn’t make for 2009!