Chinese Democracy is a concept…just a concept…

“Chinese Democracy”, sounds like an oxymoron..kinda like the actual album! I will not for one second sit here and preach about Guns N Roses and their influence on the music industry during the mid-80s / early 90s. I won’t discredit them for their previous success. But after giving Chinese Democracy (their extremely highly anticipated and over-blown “homecoming” into the new-millenium) a thorough listen-through, I look back on all that they’ve accomplished and have begun to second guess some of those achievements. Like Jordan playing baseball and then going back to Basketball (again); Chinese Democracy seems like a great concept and not so-hot when manifested. I am sure to get a lot of flack from people after posting this, but I ask you to listen to the album and honestly ask yourself “was this worth a 17 year wait?”

My answer is NO!

I don’t really know what I was expecting for this CD…but not this! Over produced, lacking creative lyrics, lavish, egotistical, and completely outdated. It’s almost like Axl spent 17 years listening to all the music that came out during the latter half of the decade and infused bits and pieces of it to make this megalomaniac pie.

For some reason, in this go around, Axl’s voice seems grattier and much more mechanized than ever before (probably from all that plastic surgery). If one wants to argue the merits of Britney Spears and Kanye West utilizing autotune (pro-tools), than the same must be done to Axl in this endeavor. What is sad is that this album is going to be one of the highest grossing albums of all time, simply because of fascination and all those hair-metal 30/40-somethings who refuse to let go of a begone era!

17 years and 14 songs later and Axl has managed to produce the most overly egotistical and mind numbing sound known to man. His voice sounds like two cats making love while dieing from rabies..in a vat of oil. It seems like Axl asked his producer to put every single sound known to man onto his tracks in an effort to appeal to any type of audience. I think you’ll find a choir, quotes from Martin Lurther King Jr., a Spanish guitar, a toy piano, a air raid siren, and I think I heard a car doorslam! All this and nothing to show for it. Some bands effectively utilize sounds to create imagery and atmosphere, instead Axl plops it down on each track as though it were Thanksgiving stuffing. What a shame and what a waste of production capital.

“Better” is by far the best song on the album, in that it actually showcases some rock-aptitude. If you’re able to sustain his annoying growl. On “Street of Dreams” Axl sounds like “the Count” or any other cartoonish vampire when he sings. I found myself laughing at the image of the puppet dracula singing this song at the end of “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”. A spanish guitar is infused on “If the World”; a sloppy mini-ballad that really has no place on the album. Nothing is more irritating though, than Axl’s attempt at 70’s arena rock on “There Was A Time”, an ode to Led Zeppelin - maybe? There are points during the song, where you’ll even ask yourself.. wasn’t this a lousy Zeppelin song? The choir is probably the best usage of alternate sounds on the album. I will not continue with a full on review, but will say that “Scraped” literally presents to the listener the sound of Axl Rose in mid coitus, or maybe during orgasmic revolution! His moans, groans, and shrieks completely turned me off to the rest of the album and I had to turn away.

Let’s put it this way.. if you liked Guns N Roses, do not buy Chinese Democracy!!! You’re actually purchasing Guns N Axl! It’s a showcase for Axl to put the finger up at all his nay-sayers (which probably includes me). Say Anything had produced 21 or so songs in a span of a year and a half, and I’d rather listen to those songs then abuse my ear drums with such waste of soundwaves. In ending, the idea of  a democractic Chinese state will probably never happen in our life and the actualization of “Chinese Democracy” by Guns N Roses, should have NEVER happened. The concept was fun, and I am sure the ride was exciting… but at the peak of the summit, the rollercoaster falls to pieces.

[Rating: .5/5]